Thursday, November 10, 2005

Because I'm in a bad mood...

I've done them, you've done them, that idiot three cars ahead of you in traffic does them. They're things that almost everybody hates.

1. Those crumbly leftover bits at the end of a bag of tater tots. The kind that burn in the oven and stick to your baking sheet. And you have to pour them out all over your cookie sheet in order to get that laaaaaaast tot out of the bag. Because God knows it'd be too difficult to actually reach your hand inside the bag and fish it out. Because then you have to wash all those crumbly leftover bits at the end of the bag off your hands!

2. After 3 days you finally get to take a nice long shower, actually DO your hair, put on a shirt Downy-fresh from the dryer, spray a little "come-to-me" on your wrists and neck, then pick up the baby and promptly get puked on.

3. Discovering you're out of coffee filters at 5 a.m.

4. Stepping on a Lego or wooden alphabet block in your bare feet. The pain is magnified ten-fold when this happens in the dark.

5. Having a full cart at the check-out, but no wallet.

6. When you take a bite of a Saltine cracker and it crumbles to pieces in your hand.

7. Changing the baby's diaper before she's done pooping. Niiiiiiiiice.

8. Remembering you're out of shampoo... when you're already in the shower.

9. I hate how the hair dryer sounds just like the phone ringing.

10. Discovering that you could tie your nipples into your bathrobe belt and it doesn't take much slouching. If you've breastfed three babies then you know what I mean.

11. OK, why is it that I stub my toe and then wind up bumping that same stupid toe all over the house all day long?

12. Misplaced apostrophes. "So, how many birthday's have you had?" Or this one that I saw on a billboard: "Always the lowest price's!" Or how about mixing up "your" and "you're" - that one really bugs me. I don't care about it in a message board setting, or even in a handwritten letter or email. Those are meant to be casual and have immunity from scrutiny, IMO. It's when I see it on a public school website (!!! I swear to you, there's actually one in my town that has countless errors), billboards, in the newspaper...

13. Burning yourself with the curling iron.

14. Catching a hangnail on your sleeve, or when one on your toe catches on your sock.

15. Finding out you're out of toilet paper after you've already gone. And nary a hand towel or washrag in sight.

16. If I can dance to the music emanating from your car, it's too loud.

17. Realizing you forgot about a birthday, and that you actually talked to that person ON their birthday. Just makes me want to wear the "I totally SUCK" button.

18. People that have nothing better to do than make lists about stuff they hate. ;-)


Anonymous said...

These made me laugh. Thank you for that, especially this Monday morning. :) Keep it up. I love to check in on your blog, get a glimpse of your world, as an occasional escape from mine.

Anonymous said...

Too funny Dellaina :) You forgot to add how embarassing "Mommy flatulence" sneaks up on you in the worst places, like in the checkout line. Nice to see another update, even if you are in a bad mood :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh, Dellaina! Funny, my blowdryer always sounds like the baby crying! :)

Anonymous said...

LOL very funny! I can't believe you can be so funny even when ur in a bad mood!


Adrianne said...

Loved it!! You put many thoughts that are in my head down on paper!!

Fairy said...

The apostrophe thing drives me nuts too! Cute blog

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