The Momma Chronicles

A new (to me) use for milk kefir - biscuits!

2012-01-26T14:52:00.000-08:00

We're loving our journey into the world of kefir. Water kefir flavored with a good organic grape juice is my favorite, while the children favor the mango lemonade. It's fizzy and fun, incredibly easy to make, and so good for you! It costs pennies to make a quart every day, and it's so tasty that we'd drink more if we had it. Completely guilt free juice/soda. Oh yes, I said guilt free.

We've only just begun to venture into milk kefir. If you've never had it, I would describe it to you as drinkable yogurt. You should be able to find a reasonable substitute to homemade in a better grocery store, but as always, homemade is best. Milk kefir is made a pint at a time. You can use cow's milk, goat's milk, or even coconut milk. I whisk a good raw honey into mine after it's done, the children will drink as much as I'll give them. It's another fantastic source of good bacteria and yeast. Something our commercial food system has succeeded in eliminating from our food chain. We've pasteurized, homogenized, non- and low-fatted our way into being the most unhealthy nation on the planet. But I won't get started on that right now. Others have already done it, and have done a better job of it. I was intrigued by this blog post, and my journey towards a traditional diet began. It's been a year-long process, and we're healthier for it.

But.... that's not why we're here. We're here to talk biscuits, people! Which, if I'm to be honest, isn't the best thing for you. The processed white flour is so so bad. But with melted butter and cheese in biscuit form? I don't wanna be good, y'all.

None of us was in the mood for milk kefir today, so I needed to find a way to use today's batch that didn't involve drinking it. With raw milk being $10 a gallon, I'm not wasting anything made with milk if I can help it. I wondered if I could substitute kefir for milk in a biscuit recipe.

I made a biscuit today that tasted exactly like Red Robin's Cheddar Bay biscuits. The children and I agreed that you would never know the difference, they were that good. I found that I wound up using twice as much kefir as milk.

Here's how I did it. You can add, delete, and substitute as you like. You can leave out the cheese and garlic, roll them out and cut them to have regular old biscuits. If you don't have kefir, you can use 3/4 to 1 cup milk.

Ingredients

2 cups flour, sifted
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. sea salt, plus 1/8 tsp.
1 cup finely shredded cheddar jack cheese
1 T. granulated garlic, plus 1/2 tsp.
1 to 1 1/2 cups milk kefir, unflavored
1 stick butter, not softened, divided

Sift flour. Measure 2 cups sifted flour into small bowl. Add baking powder and 1/2 tsp. salt, then sift again into a large bowl. (Some salt will remain unsifted, just dump it into the bowl.) Cut in 1/2 a stick of cold butter with pastry cutter until butter and flour are well combined. Mix in garlic, then mix in cheese. Slowly stir in kefir until you have a nice sticky biscuit dough.

Drop dough in large spoonfuls, a little more than 1/4 cup of dough for each biscuit, onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 14 minutes at 400 degrees, until they're just cooked but still quite white.

When almost finished baking, melt other half of the stick of butter in a small dish, sprinkled with 1/8 tsp. salt, 1/2 teaspoon garlic, and parsley if you wish. When biscuits come out of oven, brush them with melted butter and return them to the oven to bake until they're golden brown. Set the timer in 2-minute increments each time.

Hypocrisy

2012-01-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to a fantastic sermon by one of my favorite preachers, Voddie Baucham. Their church is going through Romans, and what Pastor Baucham has to say about chapter 12 has just been swirling and whirling around my brain and heart for months now. The sermon is called No Room for Personal Vengeance. Please please listen to it.

One thing that occurs to me as I listen is that the following point by Pastor Baucham is valid, whether we're talking about American Marines urinating on dead Taliban soldiers they've just eliminated, or if we're talking about brothers and sisters writing each other off over being blinded to our own sinfulness and hypocrisy.

The point:

There is an ugly hypocrisy in considering my own sin worthy of forgiveness but deciding that someone else's sin is worthy of wrath.

Whether that person be someone in my own home, someone in my neighborhood, someone in my church, or a terrorist in Afghanistan. Whether we like it or not,

God does not have a scale on which He qualifies our sin.

There are not levels of Hell.

Without Christ in my heart, I would go

to the same Hell as Osama bin Laden.

(So would you, by the way.)

Know why?

Because apart from Christ, our sin is no different than anyone else's!

My sin of disrespecting my husband in front of my children is viewed as IDENTICALLY SINFUL to our holy and righteous God, as the sin of using an airliner loaded with innocent people as a missile! It is not God who has decided this sinner is worse than that one. It is human petty selfishness and self-righteous haughtiness that has placed the sliding scale fee on forgiveness.

How quickly and easily we forget the thief on the cross!

Find a verse in Scripture where God says to the victim of an injustice, "Go ahead and desecrate the body of that Philistine you just killed in my name. You're the victim and you deserve to do it." Or, "Yes, this person has treated you shamefully. You don't have to go fix their dishwasher for them, even though they desperately need the help and you're capable of giving it. If you've decided they're undeserving right now because of their treatment of you, why then of course let's go by your standards instead of mine."

You won't find it.

What you will find:

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary; "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:17-21

"Do not say, 'I'll do to him as he has done to me; I'll pay that man back for what he did.'" Proverbs 24:29

"It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time, their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them." Deuteronomy 32:35

"Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn His wrath away from him." Proverbs 24:17-18

There are SO many more. So. so. many. And trust me. I've tried like crazy to avoid them. So what do you think He keeps immersing me in for 6 months? Yeah. It's been crazy up here in my head. But I'm thankful for the lesson. God is gentle with me when I don't deserve it.

I'll end this with one of the many profound statements I heard in this sermon (giving God all the glory for the wisdom He's given Pastor Baucham):

"You just remember that when that day comes, and Christ exacts revenge on sinners, your posture will not be of one with a raised, clenched fist, saying, "Get 'em! Get 'em! Get 'em!" But instead, your response will be of one who falls to his knees, as you see Christ exact revenge on others that He should have exacted from you. And you will recognize that the One Who is exacting the justice is the One Who was stricken, smitten and afflicted because of YOUR SIN. You will not - you will NOT - in that moment rejoice in your own vindication, but you will only rejoice in the vindication of God." -- Voddie Baucham

I shudder and am rendered speechless. I am overcome with the knowledge that it is my sin that put Christ on the cross. Without Christ in my heart, I stand before God no better than what human society would consider to be the vilest of creatures, most worthy of the world's hatred and deserving of His wrath.

Oh amen. And amen again.

2011-01-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

Sarah Mae over at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee has posted something so timely, I had to share it with you.

Yes, God makes our roles clear. Yes, His expectations of us are clear. Yes He did take our current culture into account when He penned His Word. No, our current culture has no bearing on what God expects of us. No, we don't get to shake other women by the collar and judge them for not living up to our expectations.

When God is ready for someone to deal with an issue, God will touch that person's heart. If we travel through life showing Christ's love, maybe that person will be drawn to us and ask how we "manage." But if we travel through life smugly pointing fingers at that person? Mmmm-hm. No bueno.

Who says they can't understand what's going on in church?

2010-12-22T23:03:00.000-08:00

Whispered to me in church after our pastor finished reading the account of Christ's birth in Luke chapter 2:

Jonah: Mommy? Did you see an angel when you got pregnant?

Speaking of feasting on the cheap...

2010-12-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

There's a giveaway at one of my favorite blogs. Here's a blurb from her post:

Mary Ostyn is the mother of 10 children and blogs at Owlhaven.net. Her book is packed with 200 recipes and helpful tips. The book is described as "A Penny-wise Mom shares her recipe for Cutting Hundreds from your Monthly food bill."

Go check it out!

Feast on the cheap

2010-12-10T13:34:00.000-08:00

Set a few sliced onions to caramelize in a hot skillet. They like to be drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with kosher salt and pepper, so by all means... indulge them.

Let them get all nice and brown. Not quite ready yet...

Now tuck them into the Monterey Jack cheese that's been heaped on your tortilla like a silver lining...

Leave behind a few stragglers for munching on while you wait for your cheese to melt. You won't regret it.

Blanket liberally with sour cream and salsa...

My only regret is that I had no guacamole.

Love is color blind

2010-12-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

The favorite red shirt...

... goes great with the favorite blue leggings, favorite lavender skirt, and favorite black snow boots...

... and the favorite dancing partner.

Jonah joins 'em.

2010-12-07T13:20:00.000-08:00

When your loose front teeth won't tackle a cookie...

... go for Plan B.

When you can't beat 'em? Join 'em.

Dates with Mom RULE.

Fun at the park with friends

2010-12-02T00:36:00.000-08:00

Leaves. Who needs more than a pile of leaves?

Oh. And friends, too. Leaves and friends.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

OK, how far have we walked? If I can get it to the van, I bet I can fit it in... I bet I can...

Thrifted fun

2010-11-30T11:58:00.000-08:00

I don't know who Millie was, but I'm sure I would have enjoyed her company.

I'm fairly certain the angels agree.

Mud bath

2010-11-14T23:47:00.000-08:00

Mud. I've been wallowing in it lately. And I do mean wallowing, y'all. Scalp deep in the mud, not especially inclined to come out of it. I've jumped in with both feet. The mud that is resentment. And more than a little self-pity.

And I am waaaay down deep in there.

Shaking my head back and forth so it gets all in my hair. Wiggling around so it gets in all the nooks and crannies. Yes, there is no part of me that isn't touched by the mud somehow. In the ears, up the nose, in between the toes.

Funny.

How comfortable the mud is, I mean. It wraps you up and entices you to abandon all else but the wallowing. Keeps you focused on the mud, hopes you don't remember your direct line to clean Water.

Education shapes our children. Who is shaping education?

2010-11-12T12:41:00.000-08:00

I have been scouring the Word for an instance where God told the Israelites to send their children to the Philistines for 40 hours every week to be molded and formed by them. You can guess what I found. Yep. Nothing.

Time and time again, the Lord made it clear that we are not to pollute ourselves with the values, "morals" and standards of the world - He even commanded entire cities destroyed to avoid it! - and yet Christians everywhere put their children on a bus and send them to the enemy camp for 8 hours every day.

We, as families, as a nation, as a weakened church, are reaping what we've sown.

Feeling Corny! (or, how to freeze corn for the winter)

2010-10-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Free corn, just picked that morning!

The father of a friend of mine works with an organization called Second Harvest to help secure food for local food banks. He calls around to local farms to see about crop donations and occasionally winds up securing more than the food bank (or the local mission) can use and calls in the troops to come haul it away. Which we are only too happy to do. ahem.

My sister-in-law, Melissa, and I were able to put away enough corn for the winter on Monday, thanks to that farmer's generosity. We had such a good time praising God together while we worked to see that our "lamps don't go out at night!"

Everyone helped shuck the corn. What a great opportunity to teach the concepts of working with a happy heart, finishing a task, and working together as a family to help take care of each other. (This is also one way we teach our boys that they will someday be responsible for providing for their families.)

Roman and Jonah keeping at it

Lily, Annabelle, Jonah, Roman and Mary-Beth

Grandma (my mother) came to help with round two, after a lunch break

Blanch the corn for 3 or 4 minutes.

Cut corn off of cobs, then measure it into freezer bags. Fill until just covered with water, then seal, doing your best to remove all the air. The water will help combat freezer burn.

Even baby Ellie-Anne did her best to help.

I think this was my favorite part of the whole day!

Look at God's bounty! Isn't that wonderful? What a blessing it is to be able to put away this much corn. We all had the sense that something more important than "free corn" was going on, and the children knew that they were a part of it. And more importantly, they knew Who provided it and were more motivated to help, learning their first tangible lesson about giving God the glory.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

Jonah's first original composition...

And how it made her feel...

Some just can't see the forest for the trees

2010-10-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

More of what I was talking about Tuesday. Only she says it so much better!

Child rearing is soul winning... or not (an article at the LAF website.)

The more I hear, the more I read God's word, the more I realize how little I know. This issue of just how deep is the job of child rearing is heavy on my heart lately. There's so much more to it than just making sure the children get breakfast, naps and Jesus, not necessarily in that order, keep their rooms clean, darken the doors of the church twice a week and recite all their AWANA verses perfectly.

No, it's so much more!

I'm trying not to be militant about it, realizing that God in His vast tenderness brings us all to the same point but at different paces. He doesn't expect us to have it all figured out (thank you God!) and He doesn't expect us to affect a complete black-and-white transformation in EVERY area we're not getting all at once. (Super duper thank you, God!)

No. Can't be militant. But it's SO important! Please read this woman's article, you'll see what I mean.

The buck stops here!

2010-10-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

How many Christian parents know that religious instruction is our responsibility? A responsibility that cannot be handed over to a church, a school, a Sunday school teacher. It is our job, folks. Ultimately, it is actually the father's job, but we mothers spend far more time each day with our children (especially we homeschool mothers) and so we should take on a share of that responsibility as well.

One thing I'm going to be starting in our homeschool is The Child's Scripture Catechism. You can find it here at the Bluedorns' website, Trivium Pursuit. We usually pray, then work on our AWANA sections, and then go straight to reading/spelling. I think now we'll put the catechism before the AWANA sections. Or maybe we'll do it just before bedtime? I don't know for sure. I haven't had a chance to discuss it with my husband yet, I'm still thinking about it.

A few sample questions...

1. Who made us?
...the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground... Genesis 2:7

3. For what are we made?
...glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's...
1 Corinthians 6:20

17. How can we learn to do what is right in God's sight?
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy Word. Psalm 119:9

66. Is the Holy Ghost in Scripture called God?
...why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost... Thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. Acts 5:3,4

118. In whose name must we pray?
Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you. John 16:23

I'm thinking of memorizing one or two each week, with discussion about what they mean and a search for more Scripture on each topic. I'll be using either NIV or NASB because those are the versions my children are memorizing. In situations where the meaning, flavor or intensity/gravity of purpose seems to be too different from the original languages and/or the KJV, I dismiss the contemporary translations and stick with the trusty KJV.

Here's a good article on the LAF website (which prompted my post) that talks about the importance of teaching your children the basic tenets of our faith. She uses a different catechism, which looks like it covers all the bases, but with the notable exception of leaving out Scripture references on which to base the answers.

I'd love to hear from you all about how you incorporate religious instruction into your daily lives!

Such wisdom.

2010-10-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

"Peter Pan and Wendy Float Away Over the City" - find it here

Mary-Beth (my Kindergartener): Jonah? What do you do in 1st grade that you don't do in Kindergarten?

Jonah (my 1st grader): Pretty much the same thing, except that you live your life more.

I have no idea what that means. It amuses me, though, because they're both sitting at the same table during school time.

I'm so tight I squeak. No, really!

2010-09-30T13:24:00.000-07:00

"Market Day" by Will Moses

I fail at so many things. Sooooo many. Oh so many. But one thing I'm good at is stretching my husband's dollar as far as it will go. He works his tail off to support our family, goes out and slays dragons for us on a daily basis. I feel like it's the very least I can do to show him respect for that hard work.

"She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night."

Proverbs 31:18

So what does that even mean?

It means to make wise choices at the store or in the marketplace. It means to seek out deals and stock up on them, so that when times are tough, your "lamp will not run out of oil" so to speak. If our country went deeper into the hole it's currently in, could you feed your family for a year with what's in your pantry and freezer? How about a month? A week? (I don't know where *I* am on that scale, just asking the question.)

I'm not saying we should worry about this, not at all. It's not about worry.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble

of its own." Matthew 6:34

It's about wisdom, y'all. It's about being prepared for any hardship that may come our way. Our own, or someone else's! If you have a bit of back stock, you'll be able to help that young single mother down the street when times are tough for her. You'll be able to stretch out your hands to the needy like that Proverbs 31 woman did (see verse 20).

Remember the ten virgins from Matthew 24? Yes, that parable is about way more than just keeping the oil stocked. But there's also the very basic lesson of... well... keeping the oil stocked in anticipation of needing it later.

I thought I'd share some ways you can help bless your husband by stretching his dollar as far as it will go.

Canned goods Find sales and stock up. I mean, stock up in a big way. Canned beans on sale at 3 for $1? Diced tomatoes at 2 for $1? Buy all you can. If there's a limit, go back later and get more or send your adult children to buy them for you. If that's a hardship, cut something else out of your budget that week and buy $20 worth of beans (if the expiration date isn't too soon). ** Then try not to use it unless you're in a rough patch. If the expiration dates are coming on, use cans from the front of the stack, buy what you'd use that week at the grocery store, then stick the new cans at the back of the stack. Basic stock rotation.

Bulk food section Buy as much as you can from the bulk food section. Things like pasta, rice, beans, salt, sugar, oatmeal, flour, spices, dried fruits, etc. I filled a quart jar with ground cinnamon for $1.25 this week. A small 2-ounce container of ground cinnamon costs twice that much. Score!

Dried Beans Did you know that you can make 7 batches of refried beans yourself, for the same price as two cans of already prepared beans? There are tons of recipes out on the web. Find one and try it, you'll never go back to canned. Plus, you can make huge batches and freeze them for later.

Bean soup is a favorite around here, and an absolute staple in fall and winter. Start with a chopped onion, brown it in olive oil in the bottom of your soup pot. Add 3 cups of dried beans, some salt and pepper, and two or three smoked ham hocks, then fill to the top with water. Put the lid on and bring it to a boil. Let it simmer all day, checking periodically to see if you need to add water. About an hour before dinner time, fish out the hocks and take the meat off the bones, adding it back to the pot. Discard the fat, skin and bones. Add 3 or 4 diced carrots. Now make yourself some biscuits or Butter Dips (our favorite!) and have yourself a huge meal for less than $5.

You can substitute split peas or lentils (or a combination!) for the dried beans. Don't add the peas or lentils until about an hour before dinner, when you're pulling the ham hock out.

Meat Great meat sale? Buy as much as you can afford, then freeze what you aren't going to use. Just be sure to re-wrap it at home so it will survive the freezer for a while. **

You can brown your ground beef with a chopped onion and let it cool, then freeze it for later. So handy on taco night! You can double your recipe on meat loaf night, then freeze one for later.

Prep chicken breasts in the way you use them in your recipes and freeze it for later. Boiled and diced? Boiled and shredded? However you use it, prep it and freeze it.

When you boil your chicken, why not make the most out of the electricity and water, and make chicken stock to be used later? For a 3-pound package of chicken, I add 3 or 4 ribs of celery (just ripped in halves or thirds), 3 or 4 carrots (don't bother to peel, just break in halves or thirds), one medium onion (cut into wedges, don't bother to peel), 3 cloves of garlic (don't peel, just smash once with the side of your knife, about 12 peppercorns and salt to your taste. Fill to the top with water, lid on and bring to a boil. Allow to simmer for at least 3 hours (more if you have the time), removing the chicken when it's done. When the stock tastes like you like it, turn the heat off and allow it to cool. Scoop off as much fat from the top as you can. Pour the whole lot through a strainer, then ladle into freezer containers. There! You've boiled your chicken, and you've got stock to use for later!

Potatoes Great sale on potatoes, but you won't use them before they go bad? No problem! Buy those potatoes, then process them and freeze them for use later. Cut potatoes into 1-inch cubes for stews, blanch in boiling water for one minute, then remove from water and allow to drain. Lay out flat on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper and allow to cool, then place tray in freezer. After potatoes are frozen, put them in freezer bags (Food Saver would be handy, or these ZipLoc Vacuum Bags, they work very well too), label them and keep them in the freezer. When you make a stew later, add the potatoes about 20 minutes before serving time. They don't take as long to cook and they taste just as fresh as the day you bought them.

You can do the same with hash browns (just smaller dice, follow same procedure as with stew potatoes) and mashed potatoes. Make huge batches of mashed potatoes, let them cool, then parcel them out into freezer bags. Lay the bags flat while they freeze, then you can stack them, or stand them up file-like in the freezer. Stand them on a towel so the edges don't crack open. Just remember to pull the bag out in the morning for that night's dinner.

Corn Last year I found a wicked deal on corn on the cob, 12 ears for $1. I bought as much as I could, then blanched it all, sliced it off the cobs, and froze it. We had summery fresh corn with Thanksgiving dinner! What a huge treat, and so inexpensive.

Coffee I'm a bit of a coffee snob m'self, so I won't tell you to buy cheap coffee. If you told me you have a certain brand you'll drink, and you won't consider compromising? I'd more likely bless you than curse you. ;-) I will say, though, that making your latte at home is a wise choice, and it's generally cheaper to buy beans in bulk and grind them at home.

Cereal In short? Skip it. I thought I was saving money buying cheap cereals for breakfast, but the children were starving again an hour after they ate. Add the cereal to the constant snacking, and I wasn't saving a dime. We do oatmeal, wheat farina (Cream of Wheat), Zoom, homemade pancakes with jam, toast and eggs, anything but cereal. We do still have some sort of awful-for-you sugary cereal on Saturdays. The children love to pick out their Saturday Cereal, and that's not a hill I choose to die on.

Ditch the drinks Stop buying juice, soda, bottled water (unless yours is unsafe), Kool-Aid, etc. You don't need it, you'd be healthier without it, and it takes up so much room in the grocery budget. We do occasionally splurge on soda, but it's rare. We drink water with meals, rarely milk. I have orange juice in the freezer right now, but only because it was ridiculously cheap.

Have a limit Don't just fill your cart and let the chips fall where they may. Decide how much you HAVE, and stick to that amount. Keep a tally going while you're shopping so there will be no surprises at the checkout counter. I hate having to tell the checker I have to put something back. Ugh!

Craigslist Don't forget to check your local orchards and farms. There is free produce listed on my local Craigslist all the time. Call around and ask about gleaning programs. Sometimes an owner will be glad to have you come out and take the last of a crop for free, so he doesn't have to deal with it himself. That happened to me last year with cherries, apricots, pumpkin, squash, pears and apples. I canned enough of those items that I haven't had to buy them one time since last spring. Except apples, that is. We can never have enough apples on the counter.

But I'm broke! If your budget doesn't allow for stocking up in a big way, don't lament just yet. You really can do it! You can start slow by buying one extra of something you use on a regular basis and then putting that extra aside. Meat, canned goods, staples, bathroom supplies, etc.

Prayer! It's listed last, but it's the most important. Pray! Pray right there in the car, before you go into the store. Have the children pray with you. It will be a great way to show them just exactly Who provided the grocery money, and will teach them to show respect for their father by making wise choices with the money he worked so hard for. If your budget is so tight that you'd rather cry than shop (you're not alone!), pray as you put each item in your cart. "Lord, you know we're broke. And *I* know you always provide for our needs. Please help me see how this is a blessing. Help me to be content with what I have, and show me how to use it wisely today. Please bless my efforts as I endeavor to show my husband respect in this area. I want to do everything as unto You, Father. Please guide me in this area as well."

If I've forgotten anything, feel free to add your own wisdom in the comment section!

OK. This? Is cool.

2010-09-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

This family attached a video camera to a weather balloon and sent it to space. Watch the video. How fun is that?!

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo.

"What kind of people are you going to be?"

2010-09-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

I found this posted this morning on one of my favorite blogs, Like A Warm Cup of Coffee. It's the most breathtaking thing I think I've ever heard.

This woman's biological mother, who was 7 1/2 months along, was counseled by a Planned Parenthood employee to abort her child. !!!!!!! Even more horrifying than that is the fact that she went through with it. But, glory to God, they failed. She was born alive!

Listen to her powerful testimony, given to the parliament in Australia. You'll never be the same.

Part two...

There is no middle ground, y'all.

2010-09-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

I just had to shout out a hearty "Amen!" to this post at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. The same things can be said for Harry Potter. I'm just amazed at the unbiblical and unholy things parents allow their children to be involved in. Or participate in themselves! Satan and his minions cheer at every inch of compromise, and we should be ashamed of ourselves.

Cocooned at home today

2010-09-23T10:09:00.000-07:00

With two of my three children down with assorted bugs, we'll be spending the day cozied up at home. We've got Wallace & Gromit going on the DVD player in the living room, and my favorite Chuck Missler sermon series going on Ashley's lap top in the kitchen while I putter around.

I'm going to try and make some bread today. We've been out for weeks without missing it, but a big fat piece of toast would have been perfect with my coffee this morning and there wasn't any bread. I'm wondering if Dan and Ashley would have liked a slice of toast with their coffee, and feeling mighty bad that it wasn't on my radar until it inconvenienced me. *sigh* If I could, I'd scoop this selfish gene of mine out with a spoon.

I'm also making a batch of granola to stir into our yogurt. Interested in the recipe? Go here. It's wicked easy and it makes a ton. I'm leaving out all the dried fruit (dentist's orders) but adding in some pumpkin kernels. I'm also looking for something to do with chicken for dinner tonight. I'll check out this page at MamaWhatsForDinner.com, there's always some great inspiration there.

There. Now that I've bored you to tears with all manner of minutiae concerning my Thursday, excite me with the minutiae of yours!

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

A note from Ashley, quickly and quietly scratched into the frost on a thawing bag of last year's pumpkin. Life just doesn't get much better.

A refutation

2010-09-17T12:21:00.000-07:00

Children in the kitchen? What about the mess, you ask? Here's a great way to take care of that.

No time like the present to learn how to clean up after yourself. :-)

Have a blessed weekend!

It's not about the mercury...

2010-09-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

... although that's reason enough to avoid compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs), those fun little curly light bulbs our government would like us all to use. Get this: they affect asthmatics, MS sufferers, diabetics, anyone with neurological problems.

Please watch this video and you'll be convinced.

A lazy blogger blogroll...

2010-09-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

Good morning, I hope this is shaping up to be a fabulous Monday for you. My morning has been cruising right along. I decided to clean out the refrigerator this morning, so I can say that I've earned my computer time. ;-)

I have lots to accomplish today in the clutter and laundry department, so no time for a real post from me. I'll share a few links to some of my favorites out there in bloggy world instead. Leave a comment and tell 'em who sent ya.

Have a blessed day!

Teaching Boys Chivalry at A Wise Woman Builds Her Home
Bloomers for $10 at The Play Dress
Parlor and Kitchen Notes - Just found this blog this morning, looking forward to poking around.
Pleasant View Schoolhouse - She's back!!! She'd said goodbye and closed up the blog, but she's back!
A Dress a Day - Just like it says... A dress... nearly every day.
Girls' dress patterns for those of us brand new to sewing - Found at The Handmade Dress, a fun blog!

Alrighty then, that should keep you buys for a good hour. <3

French Fried Cheerios

2010-09-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, you heard that right. French. Fried. Cheerios.

It was a gloriously chilly morning this morning. The two youngest went outside to play baseball in the back yard after breakfast. A few hours later they had earned a few pink noses and rosy cheeks. I thought I'd surprise them with cocoa and French Fried Cheerios. It was a hit! I'm still thankful for the person who turned me on to them, though I don't remember who it was. Ahem.

Curious? Of course you are!

Melt 4 tablespoons of butter in a large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add 1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt and 1/8 teaspoon of cayenne pepper to the butter and stir well. (Adjust both to your own taste, or leave them out entirely if you want.) Add 6-8 cups of honey nut Cheerios and mix well to coat all the O's with butter.

Stir occasionally with a wide heat-resistant spatula or scraper, working to bring the O's from the bottom of the pan up to the top. Once the O's start to brown, stir constantly. The browning will happen quickly now and the O's will burn easily if you let them sit in one spot too long.

Once they're as browned as you'd like, remove them from the pan to a bowl and eat right away. They'll keep in an airtight container, but I doubt they'll be around long enough for keeping.

The Breakfast Club

2010-09-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

It's clear that something needs to be done about the breakfast situation around here.

We usually have boring cereal during the week (corn flakes, rice krispies, Cheerios), with some kind of sugary cereal on Saturdays (they love to pick out The Saturday Cereal at the store). But because breakfast cereal is, essentially, a bowlful of empty calories, they're hungry again and begging for snacks within an hour of finishing. I can't afford to feed them all day every day, but if they're genuinely hungry I can't just say no.

I'm trying to make breakfast a bit more substantial, hoping to get them through to 10:00 before they're begging for a snack. Oatmeal and sausage this morning, eggs and toast tomorrow. I'd love some more suggestions!

If you haven't ever made oatmeal on your stove top, you really should try it. It's easy and doesn't take much longer than instant. You can buy old fashioned oats for much cheaper in the bulk foods section than buying a bucket of something off the cereal aisle shelf.

I add flax meal (so good for you!) and brown sugar, but you could do whatever you want. Leave it plain and add your own strawberry jam or other favorite fruit preserve. Or smash a few bananas into the pan with maple syrup and a few sprinkles of cinnamon and nutmeg. Today we had brown sugar and some chopped up breakfast sausage mixed in. Yummmmm.

Oatmeal done on the stove top also freezes very well. When Jonah was a baby, I'd make a big batch and freeze it in Jonah-sized portions.

Stove Top Oatmeal with flax and brown sugar

3 cups liquid (I usually do 1 cup milk and 2 cups water)
2 cups old fashioned oats (not the quick cooking kind)
3 Tablespoons flax meal
5 Tablespoons brown sugar

Bring liquid to a simmer over medium-high heat in a medium saucepan. Add oats and stir. Keep stirring occasionally until oats are almost done, about 5 minutes. Add flax meal and brown sugar and stir until flax is well incorporated. Serve hot.

Variations:

* Smashed bananas with cinnamon, nutmeg and brown sugar
* Strawberry jam, or your other favorite preserves
* Maple syrup and brown sugar with a few shakes of cinnamon
* Honey and peaches

Mary-Beth's turn to cook

2010-09-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's Tamale Pie tonight! I got the recipe at my favorite recipe site, MamaWhatsForDinner.com and adapted it for tonight because I forgot to put everything in the crock pot this afternoon. Oh, and I forgot to boil the kidney beans this morning. Ahem.

Brown 2 pounds ground beef with 1 small chopped onion. Drain and return to pan.

Add one 15-ounce can of red enchilada sauce and stir. This was when I was supposed to add the kidney beans. Ahem. If you wanted to, you could add a drained can of corn or the equivalent of frozen corn. If you use frozen corn, let the whole lot sit on the stove for a few minutes so the corn can thaw. Otherwise it's alright to leave the heat off at this point.

Now mix together in a bowl the following:

One box of Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix (or the equivalent of your homemade mix)...

One egg, lightly beaten...

Two tablespoons butter, melted...

1/3 cup milk...

One 4-ounce can of diced, fire-roasted green chiles and 1 cup shredded cheddar-jack cheese.

Mix it all up.

Pour meat mixture into the bottom of a 4-quart casserole dish. Spoon corn bread mixture over top and spread evenly.

Bake at 350 degrees until the corn bread is done and the sides are bubbly, about 20-30 minutes. I forgot to set the timer so I have no clue how long it really took.

While dinner's in the oven, have the child clear the rest of the school day mess from the dining room table...

... and set the table. That's sour cream and chopped green onions on the table there.

Instruct her about what *not* to do with the milk glasses when company's over. Ahem.

Now have the child take a bowl of chips to the table, and call everyone to dinner. It. was. Awesome.

It's a cloudy day

2010-09-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

*5/11/10 Storm* from the Tri-Cities Area collection at JohnClementGallery.com.

It's cloudy today. I adore a cloudy day! But today is the kind of cloudy day that isn't my favorite. Gloomy but with no rain to refresh the green things in the neighborhood. Not warm, but not chilly enough for a sweatshirt. There's nothing spectacular about today. We certainly aren't enjoying a fabulous storm like the one captured so beautifully in the photo above by Mr. John Clement. If you get the chance, you should browse around his website. I highly recommend his famous lightning collection.

So as I was saying, it's a blah kind of day. Nothing remarkable, nothing noteworthy. I usually love cloudy days, loving fall like I do, but I prefer my cloudy days to be windy and, if at all possible, blanketed in rain. But man, today's blah is zapping me in the motivation department. It's just so lukewarm!

Life is like that sometimes, isn't it.

It is so easy to kick it into autopilot and sail through unremarkable days like today. Allowing my lukewarm surroundings to dull my senses and put me in a lukewarm mood, answering my children with a lukewarm voice, taking care of my home with a lukewarm attitude. We all (well... I...) need days like today to give us respite from the dramatic up-and-down that can be the homeschooling lifestyle (super good days, super bad days), but I'm glad they don't happen very often.

We read Revelation 20, 21 and 22 today, trying to figure out what life will be like then. Can you imagine a climate that allows fruit trees to produce an entire harvest each month?! Yowza. I can guess that the weather would have to be fairly constant, not given to extremes. But really, who knows? It's the new heavens and the new earth we're talking about here. God can call the entire universe into existence with a single word, He can surely make trees bear fruit in any weather. I have no idea how He's going to work it, but I'm excited to find out.

And I'll bet there'll be nothing lukewarm about the weather.

I never thought about it this way...

2010-09-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

Christians, what would God have said to an Israelite who put their children on a bus and sent them to the Philistines every morning to be educated?

(found at this blog, which is now at the top of my bookmark list)

A giveaway of the best kind

2010-09-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'd never heard of Marie-Madeline Studio before, but now that I have? Can't wait to poke around there. The cutest aprons:

Look at these lovely skirts for women and girls!

There are six different bags to choose from:

Everything is made by hand by a woman and her four daughters. And the fabrics! Oh, such beautiful fabrics.

I found out about Marie-Madeline Studio via one of my favorite blogs, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. Go there to enter for a chance to win the giveaway. Yes, a giveaway! A custom-made apron! Besides the fact that it's a giveaway (read: free), it's aprons. Aprons, man!

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth getting some quality girl time with Hazel.

2010-08-31T22:47:00.000-07:00

Look what I picked up for $2.99/skein today! The photos don't do the colors justice, y'all.

I think maybe a shoulder wrap. What would you make?

Canned some strawberry jam

2010-08-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

If you're a canner, don't throw away the foam you skim off your jam. It goes great on biscuits at snack time!

Completely different subject, but I had to chuckle when I looked at this photograph. See how neat and tidy Jonah's area is, and how spread out Mary-Beth's set-up is? Their bedrooms, indeed their personalities, are very similar to what you see going on with their snack situations.

Jonah's very ordered. There's one way to get from point A to point B - fast. His room is neat and tidy, he straightens it himself sometimes twice a day. He has a place for all his things, and likes for the day to go a certain way.

Mary-Beth is so different from her brother. Order? That's something you do at a restaurant. She doesn't walk anywhere. She skips, twirls, dances, hops, anything but walking. The right place for her things? Anywhere in the house will do just fine, thank you.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Cheap thrills

2010-08-27T08:10:00.000-07:00

If only all forms of entertainment were this innocent, and this much fun. Thank you, WinCo, for the cheap thrills. You're almost as fun as when the garbage truck comes on Thursdays.

Rushing the season

2010-08-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

My brother, Luke, and his wife, Melissa, will be hosting Thanksgiving this year. It's their first holiday Out On The Farm with a nice big dining room to fill with family. Between their 6 and our 5, plus whomever else comes to share the day, it will be a home full of love and thankfulness.

Yes, I'm already looking forward to Thanksgiving. And yes, I do realize it's only August but I can't help it. Fall is my favorite. My favorite, y'all! What's not to love? The cold mornings with hot coffee, the rain, the cozy evenings together at home, the leaves, the family get-togethers, the autumn decorations... Did I mention it's my favorite?

Today I'll be getting my home ready for fall decor. Storing all the summer stuff, cleaning the areas I usually decorate, probably forcing myself not to haul out the fall stuff. After that, I will finally finish those napkins - I will! (Again, I'll post about that later - I will!) I've had a shoulder wrap on the knitting needles for almost a year, so today, in anticipation of the cooler weather, I'll use my earned free time to work on finishing that wrap. Can't wait!

I'm so thankful to be home, not having to be rushed after a long day at work like the old days when it was just Ashley and me. I can putter and dote all day long. Thank you, Father, for my home and family!

Have a fantastic day!

Naturally.

2010-08-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Last night during dinner...

Jonah: "Dad? Can we play catch after dinner?"

Dan: "No son, I'm gonna try and fix that water pump."

Jonah: "Without electrocuting yourself?"

Dan: "That's the goal."

2010-08-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

My brother and sister-in-law have moved Out To The Farm, as the children say. They're coming into town for errands today and then stopping by for a visit. I've been happily straightening and polishing in anticipation of their visit. I did the daily sweep this morning rather than this afternoon so I know baby Ellie won't be snacking on anything she shouldn't be. ;-)

Getting all my work done this morning so I can sit and visit and not worry about not getting things done.

I know there will be much horseplay by the 5 cousins and I don't want to miss a moment of it. I think we'll have tuna sandwiches for lunch. With many pickles. Tuna just isn't tuna for Ashley without copious quantities of pickles. I agree with her.

I enjoy Melissa's company so much. Ashley said it best a few minutes ago: we aren't friends because we're family. We're friends because we can be. Because the Lord has brought us together as sisters in Christ and I couldn't be more thankful.

I know Melissa and I will talk of God and of His unfathomable grace. We'll marvel together about how God moves and leads. How He reached down into the muck that we called lives and saved us from ourselves. We'll energize each other, galvanize each other's resolve to point others to Christ with our lives.

Enough sitting at the computer. I want to finish up a few napkins (will post about that later) before everyone gets here. Have a fantastic day!

Holy motivation

2010-08-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

I've been reading the Little House series again. My particular favorite is Farmer Boy. Um, yeah. The amount of work they did in one day just to survive? We in our culture don't do that much work in a week.

Whenever I'm resenting having to pick up shoes - again - or irritated that I have to haul the trash can out to the curb in my robe because my honey forgot... And what is that?! How dare I? That man works so hard, the least I can do is haul the trash to the curb on the rare Thursday that Dan forgets! And while we're on the subject, why am I not dressed yet?...

In short, when I'm knee deep in the process of building an altar to myself and demanding that my family bow at it, I sit down and read Farmer Boy again. I suggest it to you now as a way to appreciate what little we have to do these days.

So I'm trying to earn my free time. Isn't that a new concept? Earning it, rather than feeling entitled to it. My husband is out busting his hump every day, slaying dragons in the world of HVAC install and service so I can stay home and educate our children. He *sometimes* gets a lunch break, but it's a quick one, and he has to earn it by working hard before and after that break. All the work needs to get done and there will be no excuses given or accepted at the end of the day.

I'm resolving to finish so many tasks each morning before allowing myself to sit and have idle time (internet, reading, knitting, sewing, etc.). It's worked well so far! Of course, this is day 2. I can do anything for 2 days. ;-) Praying to God to keep me motivated. Oh how I need Him for motivation, because I don't have it in me on my own.

Reading Farmer Boy always brings me back to the ultimate Authority, the Word of God.

Proverbs 31:27 - She watches over the affairs

of her household and does not eat

the bread of idleness.

Hello. Yeah. It's all right there.

Have you and God solved an idleness issue of your own? I'd love to hear about it.

While sitting around the back yard fire pit last night

2010-08-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

Me: Mary-Beth, good job going behind Daddy instead of walking in front of him, close to the fire.

(pause....)

Mary-Beth: Sometimes I burp into my napkin.

Uhhhhhhm... mkay.

Uncle!

2010-08-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

Found this out in bloggy land this morning. It cuts to the quick y'all, I reached in to touch it and pulled back a bloody stump. Ugh, I'm so guilty of this. Ask any of my children, especially my oldest. *sigh*

It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it;

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

“Come here!” I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here,” I said-

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art-

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you are mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words-

Keep it out of your voice.

Author Unknown

See what I mean? I know, right? Just had me screaming uncle, like Ralphie in A Christmas Story.

I used to work in AWANA with a woman who said that her mother (get this!) never once raised her voice. Never once yelled at her, but always used a calm steady voice. As you might imagine, we stared at her like she had lobsters crawling out of her ears. Not because of who her mother happened to be, but because of the super huge feat that is. We had to admit it made perfect sense, because these two daughters of That Woman were the gentlest creatures we knew. As were their children.

But come on. Never once raised her voice? Like... never?

Sooooo, when you flushed an entire roll of toilet paper... no yelling? When you took a Sharpie marker to the walls... no shouting? When you stabbed Mother's size 10 knitting needle into the couch cushion 947 times because that ka-thunk ka-thunk sound amused you... no wailing, no weeping, no gnashing of teeth? Nothing?

Yeah. We weren't buying it.

The woman's sister walked in, and after a few moments of memory-searching, it was confirmed that their mother never once yelled at them. I only have three words to say to that: a-maz-ing.

Now I know that nobody is perfect. No, not one. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. No child is perfect and none of us mothers has it all figured out. There is no such thing as the perfect mother. Even if you think your mother had it wired? I will bet you a million iced grande hazelnut lattes (Starbucks please, make it a triple) that she didn't think she had it wired. We, all of us, have things we want to improve upon. Aspects of our personality or character that we would gladly hack out with an axe if we could.

Proverbs 15:1 - A kind answer turns away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.

It's a science, baby. A recipe. Do this, you get that. This? Then that. This that this that. Scream at your children, they don't listen to what you say, but they do feel your attitude. Your words are meaningless. All they take away is how you're feeling about them. (I know... knife, meet heart... me too.)

I'm not saying don't discipline your children. Anyone who knows me, knows that I would never say that. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24 that the parent who doesn't discipline her child hates that child. Think about it. It's true. And it also says to do it right then and there, and don't pay any mind to all their whining and boo-hoo'ing. Of course they don't like discipline. It's no fun. But it needs to be done. Proverbs 19:18 (I love the King James here) - Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

There's the art. You have to discipline, but you also have to find a way to do it without breaking their hearts. I don't want my children to be walking down memory lane one day and have to say how much I raised my voice. I want my home to be an escape from the meanness outside these walls. I don't want to pass on that legacy of yelling, that they no doubt will hand down to their own children. (Please God, no!) I want my love and discipline to reflect God's ways. To draw my family towards Christ!

What. a HUGE. undertaking. But! By God's grace, it is possible.

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Do you hear that, fellow mother-in-the-trenches? All things. ALL. According to this verse, it IS possible. (No, really!) And did you hear that other part? It's Christ who strengthens us. We don't have the power to do it on our own.

He's our Daily Bread. He gives us what we need for each day, each hour, each circumstance, right when we need it. If God can provide food and water to the entire nation of Israel during a 40-year journey in the middle of nowhere, reluctant though they were to be there, whining every step of the way... He is big enough to provide you and me with the patience we need to stop, take a deep breath, and not destroy the child who just poured a whole box of Cheerios into the dog food bag.

Discipline? Yes. Grumpy Spice, fire-breathing, mouth-like-a-sailor (no offense, sailors!) pattern of harshness that they'll never forget, and probably inflict on their own children? No. By God's grace, no.

OK. Now you know as much as I know. If you were hoping to get to the end and find that Magic Bullet answer? Super sorry about that. I don't have it. As I said before, you may recall, I struggle with this. I don't always fail, and with prayer and much deep breathing, it's so much better now than it used to be. But I still fail more than I want to.

Tell you what. Let me know you need it, and I'll pray for you. You pray for me too, okay?

I love the smell of wet paint!

2010-08-12T13:18:00.001-07:00

I am loving the new drapes and furniture around the old bloggy-blog. Way more fun than those old greenish polka dots, don't you think? And whoever it was that told me I should be blogging what the children say so I won't forget it? Thank. You. I've been reading some older posts and, I'm here to tell ya, I've forgotten half of that stuff. Reading it brings it back, sure, but oh how long is the road back! I'm laughing out loud all over again, as so often happens when we old ladies hear a story again that we'd long forgotten. This one in particular, and this one. Aaaaaand this one.

Thanks for dropping by!

Oh. My mistake.

2010-08-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ashley's friend Ashley Mask is here helping Ashley clean her closet.

Heard from the other room: "That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy."

Me: "Awwwwww, Jonah! Ashley gave you her easy button. How nice!"

Jonah: "No, actually it was Ashley."

2010-08-09T08:37:00.001-07:00

"Mom!!! Eventually, King Neverkizzever believed in the true God!!!" --- Jonah, talking about the Bible history regarding "Rack, Shack & Benny" (a.k.a. Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and King Nebuchadnezzar).

In which the boy expounds on the benefits of bunnies.

2010-07-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

Jonah: We should get a rabbit because a rabbit is like a mower except it's smaller. And? When the rabbit dies? (finger gun) You can just use your mower again.

(It all boils down to the lawn mower for my little man.)

But you said every good game for boys has hot lava...

2010-05-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

Me: "Jonah, Aunt Nancy asks about your baseball game yesterday. She wants to know if there was any hot lava."

Jonah (with a grin): "We're the Fireballs, not the Hot Lava Balls."

2010-04-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

On the way to pick up Mom for her labs and radiation appointment this morning:

Jonah: We're taking Grandma to the doctor again?

Mary-Beth: Wow. She's always sick.

Jonah: No she's not, Mary-Beth. She's not always sick.

Mary-Beth: Yes she is.

Jonah: No she's not.
Mary-Beth: Yes she is.
Jonah: No she's not!
Mary-Beth: (giggle) Yes she is.
Jonah: No she's not infinity!

Mary-Beth: Oh yeah? Then why do we always take her to the doctor? (tongue out at Jonah)

Me: We take Grandma to the doctor for a special medicine she has to use every day. She has something called cancer. Mary-Beth is right, Jonah. Grandma is sick.

Mary-Beth: Oh. (pause) So does she cough a lot? Or sneeze a lot.

That must be it.

2010-04-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Ashley this morning: "Hey Mom, the neighbor lady across the street, her arm's in a sling. What happened?"

Me: "Oh wow, I don't know. Surgery? Or maybe it's broken. I wonder what happened."

Jonah: "Maybe she fell off her roller skates. Then (insert crashing sound)... y'know... broken."

My hero!

2010-04-05T17:14:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth bounded into my bedroom this afternoon sporting Jonah's red superhero cape. Standing there, chin up, hands on hips, she says to me in her best superhero voice, "Mom? Can I go outside and save! the world!?" I kissed her on both cheeks and said, "Yes, you may. Please go and save the world in the back yard." She replied, shoulders now slumped, "But there aren't any people in that world."

Um, ew?

2010-03-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Mary-Beth: Um, Jonah? Your breath smells like trees.

Some questions don't need to be answered.

2010-03-07T09:13:00.001-08:00

Jonah: "Hey Dad! Do you have anything big and sharp I can have?"

You learn something new every day.

2010-03-03T17:38:00.000-08:00

Jonah: Hey Mom! Guess what! When your body grows? It even grows all at the same time. Not only half of it grows, but ALL of it grows. Even. your boobs.

Me: *ahem* Boobs?

Mary-Beth: He means "boobies." (With a knowing glance at Jonah. You know the one. If you have teenage girls, you've seen it. "Oh that poor woman. Will she ever catch up?")

Me: *ahem* Boobies?

Jonah: (eyebrows up, nodding) Yeah. I learned that (finger gun) at sign language class.

Now where in the world did I put that syllabus from ASL class? It's around here somewhere...

Dear God, please don't let him find half a frog.

2010-02-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Jonah: "Mom? This pocket right here is sooo big, I bet I could fit a whole frog in there."

Maybe I should sew that one shut.

Wow. That's tall.

2010-02-25T09:09:00.000-08:00

Jonah: "The trees at the cabin are almost as tall as God and Jesus stuck together."

Almost.

That long ago, eh?

2010-02-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

Jonah: "WAIT! I have seen a rabbit before. It was at the pumpkin patch........ That was back when I had all my teeth."

I'm betting that won't be the last time he'll have to say that.

It's all about the lums, yo.

2010-02-14T15:14:00.000-08:00

Mary-Beth: "When we cough or sneeze, really our lums are just squeezing the germs out. (nods, eyebrows up) They are."

I believe it, every word.

Overheard at the kitchen counter

2010-01-13T11:52:00.000-08:00

Mary-Beth: Hey Jonah, let's play that you're a lousy doctor.
Jonah: Okay.... You? Are dead.

(That's lousy, alright.)

Jonah says we should move the toaster.

2010-01-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

"We should put it over there (finger gun pointed at the coffee station) by the cinnamon and sugar. (shrug) Y'know, for when you're making toast. It'll be closer to the cinnamon and sugar. (shrug) Then you could put cinnamon and sugar on all the toast. (finger gun pointed at me)"

Why didn't I think of that?

Ask a stupid question...

2010-01-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

Jonah: "I don't like green beans, Mom."

Me: "Really? Wow. Green beans rock! Why don't you like them?"

Jonah: "I think it's the beans part I don't like."

It's a man thing.

2010-01-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

Jonah found out he was going to get to visit with my friend Debbie's son Emmitt (who is 13 years old and super fun) while I was out running errands. He said, "Ooh! Can I wear a baseball shirt? Cuz I wanna play football with Emmitt and (insert finger gun) have a race."

She's good at so many things.

2010-01-07T10:01:00.000-08:00

Jonah and Mary-Beth were playing "Don't Laugh," a game during which you try to keep a straight face while the other person tells you not to laugh.

It's harder than it sounds. Go ahead and try it. Don't laugh! Don't do it. Don't you laugh!

See?

So Jonah had just lost at his turn and, at the end of his laughing fit, said, "Y'know, Hazel is REALLY good at this game."

Meet Hazel:

Fun sucker.

2010-01-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Jonah: I'm a snoooow! dinosaaaaaaur! Rrrrrrroooowwwwrrrrr!

(pause)

Mary-Beth: You're not even a snow man.

Alrighty then

2010-01-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

I just had to tell Mary-Beth that lip gloss doesn't belong on her eyebrows. She disagreed. She's lucky that pink is her color.

More "don't ask don't tell"

2010-01-07T09:49:00.000-08:00

I'm choosing not to pursue the facts regarding the orange peel I just found inside the boy's sock. I'm just.... not going to ask.

Don't ask, don't tell

2009-09-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

A transformer in our neighborhood blew this morning. The noise of it drew us all outside to see what we could see. Dan said he'd seen a puff of smoke, I grimaced and said "Yikes. Must have been a squirrel." My niece Lily (Luke and Melissa's oldest) thought for a second, then looked up at me and said, "Do squirrels do that?"

It's got Mary-Beth all over it

2009-08-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

I found this little poem while out on the interwebz searching for copywork quotes for Jonah. Who does this bring to mind?

Singing Time
by Rose Fyleman

I wake in the morning early
And always, the very first thing
I poke out my head and I sit up in bed
And I sing and I sing and I sing.

Your honesty is refreshing

2009-08-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth came to me this morning wearing her most innocent look. You know the one: the chin is pressed to the chest, the eyes are looking up at you over the glasses, the bottom lip is sticking out. That look. Knowing her as I do, and having seen that look before, naturally I smelled a rat.

Her: Mommy? Jonah almost throwed that car at me.

Me: Really? He almost threw that car at you?

Her: Yes, he did. He almost throwed that car at me and it keeps making me mad every day.

Me: Hmmm. Did he throw the car at you, or did he almost throw the car at you?

Her: He almost throwed it.

Me: Ah. Well, why would he throw a car at you? Did you throw a car at him?

Her: Yes, but I keeped missing him.

Now we're getting to it.

Who asked you?

2009-06-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth: Mommy? When I'm 7 years old, will my feet touch the floor when I'm on the toileeyet (toilet)?

Me: Yes, I'm almost sure of it.

Mary-Beth (after a pause): Mommy? How old are you?

Me: Thirty-eight.

Mary-Beth: Wow! That's a loooooong time ago!

At least she knows the right answer

2009-05-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

Me: Mary-Beth, are we supposed to put the whammy bar up our nose?
Her: Nnnnnnnegative.

That takes care of that

2009-04-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth (in a voice so low it's almost a whisper): Mommy? There was a ear twig crawling by my toes on the ground over outside by the garden.

Me: Oh, you know that ear wigs can't hurt you, right? Did you walk away from him?

Mary-Beth (same low whispery voice): No. I killed him with a shubble.

That'll work.

That might be a problem.

2009-04-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

(Jonah, calling from his room to Mary-Beth's room.)
Mary-Beth!..... Will you come help me organize?

(Mary-Beth, calling back in a sing-song'y voice.)
Nooooooo.

(Long pause, then Jonah again.)
Mommy? Will you come help me organize? Because I don't know what "organize" means.

2009-04-16T10:41:00.001-07:00

"Mommy? Swinging high on the swings is a weally. impoh-tant. job."

For the record, she should get paid for it. She's weally. weally. good at it.

And the wisdom to know the difference

2009-04-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth has become something of an informer in recent months. Don't tell her any secrets, and don't do something tattle-worthy in her presence.

On Easter she tattled on her cousin Roman. I reminded her that it's not alright to tattle unless someone is getting into something dangerous. Y'know, someone's left the yard, fell off the swings, licking the barbecue, all that normal stuff kids do. What? Your kids don't lick the barbecue? Hm. Maybe mine tastes better. Anyway...

She came back about 20 minutes later and tattled on Roman again. I asked, "Mary-Beth, are you tattling?" She giggled and replied, "Nooooooooo. I'm not tattling. *gigglegiggle* I'm tell-ling."

Pardon me. My mistake. Carry on. ;)

Are those cobwebs?

2009-03-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

Jonah flopped on the couch after lunch today. I asked him if he was sleepy, trying to stifle the joy from my voice at the prospect of naps. "No, my tummy just hurts a little bit." I remarked that his tummy has been hurting after every meal lately. He replied with a sigh, "Probably it's because I'm almost 6 and I'm almost an old guy."

I wondered about those wrinkles.

Thanks for clearing that up.

2009-01-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

Mary-Beth: "Mommy? I like bananas."

Me: "You do?"

Mary-Beth: "Yeah, but I'm not a monkey."

Heard from the back yard...

2008-12-31T08:17:00.000-08:00

Dan: Mary-Beth, you may not throw snow at Jonah's face.

Mary-Beth: Oh.... right...

Jonah's Evil Plan

2008-12-10T22:52:00.000-08:00

I was on the phone with Melissa a few days ago when I heard a noise from the boy's room that can only be his dresser hitting the wall. Of course, I go investigate. What I found had nothing to do with the dresser, still not sure what the noise was about.

I did, however, find Jonah standing on his bed's footboard - teetering on one foot, really - with a big long stick in his hand. On the end of the stick was a cup that, when exposed to light, will glow in the dark. The cup on the end of the stick was wavering dangerously close to the lightbulb on the ceiling. The light bulb is exposed because the fixture's shade has given up its ghost to a golf ball. Ahem.

So if you know me at all, you know that my first instinct is to grab the stick ("Gimme that!") and shoo the boy off his bed ("Feet go on the floor!"). For some reason, something in me just had to know what was really going on so instead of my usual growl, because trust me, we've been here before, I simply asked Jonah what was going on.

"Son, what's goin' on?"

"Don't worry, Mom. It's aaaall part of my evil plan."

Cross my heart hope to die, he looked me dead in the eye and, as if he were telling me he'd put his shoes away, he assured me that the scene I'd happened upon was indeed no accident, but it was all part of his evil plan. Relax, Mom. Got it covered. Nothing to see here. Please go back to your dishes or whatever it is you do. Melissa, still on the phone, was shouting, "Oh my heck, did he just say "evil plan?" Find out the plan! What's the evil plan?!"

"Uhhhhmm, er, uhhhh, what's your evil plan, son?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"OK, sooooooo, I put this cup on the end of this big stick, and I knew if I couldn't reach the light from my bed I could get there from the table or maybe my dresser. Sooooooo I stand here and I reeeeeach and try to put this cup on that light bulb. But there's only one problem." (He's got his little finger-gun pointed at me. That's how he points. Finger gun. Cocked a little to the side.)

"There's only one problem? Hm. What's the problem?"

"Yeah. I don't really know how to get the cup back down."

"Son? Would you like me to charge your cup up for you so it will glow?"

Finger gun. "That'd be great."

I took the cup off the stick, charged it, and handed it to the boy who was already under his bed with his sister, waiting for the charged cup. I left the room - with the stick, which is now in Toy Purgatory with the golf ball - and finally let the laughter out.

So what did I learn from this? Well first, I think I'm a little too quick to jump to the "Gimme that stick!" approach. That over-in-an-instant, no-nonsense, how dare you act like a kid approach. How grinchy am I! If I took the time to ask him what's really going on a little more often, instead of just thwarting his evil plans, I might just be shocked and entertained. I don't think I stopped smiling the rest of the day.

And second? Seriously, what is that kid watching on television? Evil plans? Really? Time to unplug.

Watch out, boys.

2008-11-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

Jonah: Mary-Beth! We should go to Cameron and Jesse's house to play today!

Mary-Beth: No, I don't want to go to Cameron and Jesse's house because Jesse is always mean to me because he is mean to me.

(pause)

Jonah: I can easily handle Jesse.

Right you are, son.

2008-11-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

Jonah, tonight at the dinner table, out of the blue:
"Mommy? A five-year-old is not an old man."

This one's for Jordan

2008-10-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Just so you have an idea of what you're in for in about 3 years.

Mary-Beth, from the bathroom: Mommyyyyyy! I pooooooped!
Me, going in to wipe her: Good job, baby!
Mary-Beth: Yeah! I pooped one BIIIIG one and one yeeeeeeettle one.

Thank you for sharing.

Fascinating.

2008-10-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

Jonah (from the back seat of the only other woman in Dan's life, his Monte Carlo): Mommy? Do you like to hot rod this car?

Me: No son, I don't.

Jonah: Oh, because Daddy loves to hot rod this car.

Me: Oh, rrrrrrrreally.

If you're into Chicken Pox parties, gimme a call.

2008-09-19T08:00:00.001-07:00

We've got 'em, we're happy to share. Bring lollipops. :-)

Mary-Beth was checking out a mole I have on my cheek.
"Mommy? Do you have chickit pops too?"

Fellow knitters!

2008-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Betsy turned me on to this opportunity to knit for a good cause. Knit (or crochet) scarves for the participants of the January 2009 Winter Special Olympics! Here's a link to the 4-1-1 on Coats & Clark's web site (they're the sponsors, I believe) where you can find more information and the free pattern.

Thanks Betsy! :-)

Tomato, tomahto

2008-09-09T17:40:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth: Mommy, I don't like lettuce. I only like salad.

"Pete & Repeat were on the fence..."

2008-09-05T08:09:00.001-07:00

Jonah: Mommyyyyy! I hurt my penis on my bike!
Mary-Beth: Mommy, me too. I hurt my penis, too.

Is that right? Fascinating.

2008-08-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Mary-Beth walked up to me this morning with a very serious look on her face. Usually that means she's about to tattle on her brother (we don't call her The Informer for nothing) but not this time.

Very serious look.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I'm wild and cwazy."

Alrighty then.

Can there be any other opinion on the subject?!

2008-08-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite lines from Pride & Prejudice, only because my fake British accent sounds really cool when I say it.

I don't know if you've ever heard of The Illuminati. They're the extreme lunatic fringe, in my humble opinion. I don't much like Wikipedia either, since anyone can go in and edit the information you find, but in this instance they're right on the money.

That's why I was so shocked to discover that I actually agree with something The Illuminati has to say. My friend Zanna forwarded this YouTube video to me and I'm so thankful she did. I've never been more sure of what's wrong and what's right than I am right now.

Broad brush I'm painting with, I know. But seriously. Watch the video (preferably with no children in the room) and then let me ask you: Can there be any other opinion on the subject?

Faster than a speeding bullet!

2008-08-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Jonah - Oooh! The moon is roundy tonight! I wish we could go up there in a plane or a rocket ship and see it for real.

Mary-Beth - Or you could wear my super hero cape, Jonah. You could wear it and see the moon if you want!

Everything looks big when you're 3 feet tall!

2008-08-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

If you've ever seen me, you'd probably guess that my dainties aren't so very dainty, and indeed are big enough to actually need folding. (If you've actually thought about it, ummmmm... ew. Stop thinking about my underwear. That's icky.) So it should come as no surprise to me that my children notice the amount of fabric it takes to sew together a pair of knickers for their mother.

While folding *ahem* laundry the other day, Mary-Beth stopped by the couch and stood there watching me. After a minute or so:

"Wwwwwooooowwwww. You. have really. big. panties."

"Yep." I mean really, what else is there to say?

Mary-Beth threw her arms open wide and said, "Yeah. I have a yittle bottom and you have a biiiiiiiiiiiig bottom."

Thanks, kid. Am-scray.

So THAT'S what's in there. I've often wondered.

2008-08-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

"Oooooooh. I don't wanna break my head open. Then all my air will get out! And all my CEREAL!" -- Jonah

I've been thinking about that article

2008-06-27T10:54:00.000-07:00

Had a great conversation with Debbie today about the article I posted a few days ago. Her perspective was one I hadn't seen before and it was eye-opening. That article wasn't so much about homeschooling as it was about values, and what we decide is important. About whether we decide to follow the politically correct party line and accept society's standards as our own, or if we choose to make the tough choices and risk offending people because it's what we know is right. Do both parents slave away 12 hours a day in pursuit of the almighty dollar and all it's trappings, at the expense of precious time together as a family? Or do we decide that our tent will suffice as our vacation home, our television is plenty big enough already (and turned on too much as it is) and we don't need a speed boat or more cars than we have drivers.

Sooo, my motivation for posting the article? See, unless you've been confronted by someone who's offended with the philosophy of homeschooling, you wouldn't really understand where I was coming from when I shared the article with you. I guess it's really my curiosity about what fuels such opposition to homeschooling. And the answers are probably as numerous as the people who hold the opinion. Some people out there are really angry, y'all. I mean rabidly, vehemently, fundamentally opposed to homeschooling. Why is that?

I've often wondered if it was because they're feeling like they're not 100% comfortable with their own choices and priorities, and are feeling insecure and defensive when presented with someone who made different choices. Could be.

It could also be that some don't get to make the choice. I know that when I was a single mom, I hated to see moms out and about with their kids during the day. That mom was probably married, she got to stay home with her kids and I hated her for it. I hated her for doing what I couldn't do. I wanted to be home with Ashley so badly but I just couldn't. I had to work! I had made certain choices and as a result was the only one capable of making money (Ashley couldn't reach the sink so I couldn't get her a job at Denny's as a dishwasher). That responsibility fell on me and wiped all other options off the slate.

So what's the source of all the anti-homeschooling animosity? Is it that they want to homeschool but can't for whatever reason? Is it that they don't want to homeschool and feel bad or guilty about that, feel like they have something to prove? Like we love our children more than you love yours because we want to homeschool? (That's not true, by the way.) Do they think we're feeling smart and smug and superior? Hardly. More than half of us would probably say that we know we've made the right decision but at the same time we feel woefully under qualified and humbled by the task. Or maybe it's that almighty left-wing attitude that it takes a village to raise a child and homeschoolers flaunt an independence and self-sufficiency that Society At Large finds distasteful.

I truly don't know where the animosity is coming from and I probably never will. Each person probably has their own set of reasons why what I'm doing is wrong. And when I think they may have a valid point, I really do sit down and think about it.

I'm sure I'd be able to think clearer if I had a big old speed boat to lounge on, though.

Do I make you uncomfortable?

2008-06-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

I'm always amazed at how vehemently some folks oppose homeschooling, more now than ever in light of the craziness that's happening in California. I came across this article (link no longer works) at a homeschooling blog I frequent that helps shed some light on what could be the source of the indignation. Read it with an open mind, since there's bound to be something in it that makes the anti- or non-homeschooler feel uncomfortable. Sorry 'bout that, can't be helped. No hard feelings, right? Since I respect you and you respect me? Righto.

Oh, but before I let you read the article I feel I must disclose something for fear that if I don't you might think my own children behave themselves at the grocery store. They so totally don't. They really, really don't.

You'll see what I mean in a minute.

****************

SONNY SCOTT:Home-schoolers threaten our cultural comfort
6/8/2008 9:39:01 AM
Daily Journal

You see them at the grocery, or in a discount store.

It's a big family by today’s standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list.

There's no begging for gimcracks, no fretting, and no threats from mom. The older watch the younger, freeing mom to go peacefully about her task.

You are looking at some of the estimated 2 million children being home schooled in the U.S., and the number is growing. Their reputation for academic achievement has caused colleges to begin aggressively recruiting them. Savings to the taxpayers in instructional costs are conservatively estimated at $4 billion, and some place the figure as high as $9 billion. When you consider that these families pay taxes to support public schools, but demand nothing from them, it seems quite a deal for the public.

Home schooling parents are usually better educated than the norm, and are more likely to attend worship services. Their motives are many and varied. Some fear contagion from the anti-clericalism, coarse speech, suggestive behavior and hedonistic values that characterize secular schools. Others are concerned for their children’s safety. Some want their children to be challenged beyond the minimal competencies of the public schools. Concern for a theistic world view largely permeates the movement.

Indications are that home schooling is working well for the kids, and the parents are pleased with their choice, but the practice is coming under increasing suspicion, and even official attack, as in California.

Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?

Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the home schooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.

Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar’s be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return.

Just as the jealous Chaldeans schemed to bring the wrath of the king upon the Hebrew eunuchs, we are happy to sic the state’s bureaucrats on these “trouble makers.” Their implicit rejection of America’s most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. “Individualism”) spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions.

Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity, and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter’s wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square-foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim “our right” to pursue a career for our own
"self-fulfillment."

Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity. We are tired from working extra jobs, and the looming depression threatens our 401k’s. Credit cards are nearly maxed, and it costs a $100 to fuel the Suburban. Now the kid is raising hell again, demanding the latest Play Station as his price for doing his school work … and there goes that modest young woman in the home-made dress with her four bright-eyed, well-behaved home-schooled children in tow. Wouldn’t you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face?

Is it any wonder we hate her so?

Sonny Scott a community columnist, lives on Sparta Road in Chickasaw County and his e-mail address is sonnyscott@yahoo.com.

Appeared originally in the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal, 6/8/2008, section 0 , page 0

Wear your dainties, ladies.

2008-05-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up. My own little Public Service Announcement. Someday you'll thank me.

If you're ever standing in line at the Barnes & Noble with two toddlers who just can't seem to behave, be sure to wear panties under your skirt.

That's all I have to say about that.

Speaking of domestic bliss...

2008-05-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

What could be more the embodiment of domestic bliss than hanging sweet-smelling wash on the line on the perfectly not-too-warm breezy day (with the perfect apron by the way, the pockets of which hold an enormous amount of clothes pins, yo) with music from the front room floating around the yard on the breeze, while watching the children play together as if they didn't have a wicked thought between them. Their laughter, the wash, the weather.

My heart's swelling today, y'all.

The perfect Mother's Day snort

2008-05-05T09:21:00.000-07:00

The "It's all about me" version:

* Coffee's already done when I wake up. (Usually is, Dan's up with the chickens. Oh, don't worry. I totally know where my bread's buttered.)

* The children would bound out of their beds in the morning and say "Happy Mother's Day! We're so thankful for you and all you do, Mom. The cooking! The cleaning! The precious gift of life! You've let us live this long despite finding our toys in the toilet and our coats on the roof. We just couldn't wait to sing your praises this morning. How can we ever do enough for you today?" Yeah, I know. I was laughing half way through it myself. Usually they just shuffle out and mumble, "Can we have cereal?" so anything besides that would be acceptable.

* Breakfast out! Like, at a restaurant! The kind with napkins and silverware that aren't wrapped together in plastic. Food that comes out on plates instead of in bags. We never do that.

* Mom-only time all. day. long. I'd hit the book stores, the yarn shops, get a pedicure, sit at the coffee shop and knit, sit and read over lunch. Then I'd browse about a dozen different stores - slowly! - without yanking one thing from some child's hands and putting it back on the shelf. Yuh-huh!

* Nap! No, I mean for me. Nap for me!

* Cook dinner for the fam. I love to cook, so it's not work for me. But I'll *ahem* let someone else do the dishes.

* Go straight to bed and read uninterrupted until I fall asleep.

Riiiiiiiiight. Okay. Now that I'm done dreaming, this is what will probably happen on Mother's Day.

* Coffee's done when I wake up. (Thanks, honey!)

* Children shuffle out and say, "Can we have cereal?" while they're still rubbing their eyes. Sigh and be thankful that at least one thing in life is predictable. Whisper a prayer to God that I have them.

* Go to church and swell with pride as I watch 30 of my favorite children sing and act their little hearts out for their moms. Ignore the fact that one child is picking her nose, since she does it every time, we can't stop her, and we love that girl anyway so what good does it do to embarrass her about it? Just remember not to shake hands with her later.

* Have burgers on the grill at home for lunch.

* DOXA practice at 2pm. We're getting ready for an audition on 5/17 and we're perfecting the 3 songs we've picked. We polled the moms, they were all down with it. We kinda forgot to poll the dad, we're a little bit hoping his wife doesn't slash our tires. If she's mad I'm totally blaming it on Jim. ;-)

* Home by 5 or so for dinner. I'll cook, since I love to, but I'll *ahem* let someone else *coughcoughAshleycoughcough* do the dishes.

* Sit on the back patio with the newspaper and something fun to drink, watching the people I love most in the world play and laugh together. It's not often you see a family that actually enjoys spending time together, so I know how lucky I am.

* Think about my friend Jordan, pregnant with twins, and try not to cry thinking about how long and hard she fought for them, and I'm just so stinkin' happy for her.

* Be thankful we're all together, we're healthy and happy, have very little to complain about.

* Realize how blessed I am, and try not to cry. Why why WHY with the crying! I do have my "mean old biddy" reputation to uphold, after all.

Yeah, you're right. The "me" version of Mother's Day so totally won't happen. Wouldn't change a thing, though. Well, maybe the nap part, but the rest of it? I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, like, NO grumbling? Like, none? Really?

2008-04-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

I love the laundry. I really really do. I'm not kidding, either. I love the laundry.

Well, wait. Let me clarify that.

I love to sort the laundry. I'm using the word love about sorting laundry, yes. But you know what I mean: sheets go with sheets, towels go with towels, lights, whites and darks, and so on. Sheets and pillow cases meet up and whisper all their bedroom secrets to the blankets. Not many people know that light colors are happiest when allowed to hang together and cheer each other up. They have that rose-colored glasses positivity about them that you just can't help be brightened by yourself. And darks? Dark clothes just want to be left alone to sit and brood in one big lumpy mish-mash, doing their best to look tortured, mysterious and aloof. Oh so very dark smoky French cafe.

I love to do the laundry, too. Mainly because I'm the only one in my house who does it right. Truly though, washing my perfectly sorted loads, hanging what needs to be hung and drying what goes in the dryer? It just speaks to my organization-loving heart. Dude, clothes don't want to be washed with towels. Towels leave all their working class terry-clothy lint all over the privileged fine knits that populate the upper crust of Laundry Room Society. And what fool decided it was okay to just undress into the washer and run it when it's full? Hellooooo?!! There are whites in there with dark jeans, man. Whites with jeans! Sweet fancy Moses, that's just crazy talk!

I also really dig on folding the laundry. Again, I'm the only one who does it right. And yes! There really IS a right way and a wrong way, don't argue with me. Who else knows how every little thing in this house needs to be folded besides the one who knows how it all needs to fit in drawers and cubbies? Moi, that's who. Jonah's shirts hang, Mary-Beth's dresses hang, towels and trousers folded in thirds, shirts folded department store style, knickers lay flat or fold, depending on size. *ahem* So yeah. I love to fold the laundry.

But today I was grumbling about laundry. Not laundry, really, but having to turn yet another of Ashley's flap-jacking shirts right-side-out. Seriously, people. There's no Right-Side-Out Fairy who comes along, waves her magic clothespin over the basket and the clothes just magically turn themselves to rights. No, the momma does that. And do you know why the momma does that? Because you don't!

So anyway, I'm grumbling to myself: "If I have to turn one more of these shirts back to rights I think I might just finally go to the zoo!" when suddenly, God decides I'm in need of a little calibration.

"Do everything without grumbling..." Philippians 2:14

W-what? Pardon? First of all, where did that even come from? I haven't read that verse in ages. On purpose. Grumbling seems to be getting me through my day just fine, thank you very much. Sure, there's plenty of weeping and gnashing of teeth around here when I put my foot down, but the children do it too!

"Do everything without grumbling..."

So, does that mean NO grumbling? Like, none? Really? Even if it's the billionth shirt I've turned right-side-out? Even if it's the 5,143,786th time I've had to ask a certain someone I'm married to where he put my favorite stockpot... AGAIN!? Because it's sure not where it belongs!

Even after the 43rd change of panties in one day? How about after I turn off the 90th light in a room with no! people! in it!? Huh? Huh?! Do You even know how frustrating that is? Certainly cause for grumbling if ever there was one.

No grumbling, huh? WHY???!!! I don't think You know these people I live with, Lord.

Oh. So you say Jesus didn't grumble when He went to the cross for me? Yeah. I remember that now.

(Thinking on it for a while...)

Okay, God. "Do everything without grumbling." I'll do my best. You're right. It probably would help my all-around attitude tremendously. If I'm purposely not grumbling, but deciding to thank You for these people I live with instead of grumbling about them? Yeah. It'd probably make a huge difference. I'll give it a try.

I'll, um, let you guys know how it goes.

Hooverheads.

2008-04-13T13:34:00.001-07:00

I had to vacuum the kids' heads today.

Please. Don't ask.

Elinor Dashwood? Ummmm....

2008-04-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

Take the Quiz here!

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.

I saw this quiz at my friend Sarah's blog and since I love all things Austen I had to take it. Elinor Dashwood? I'm flattered, I must say. I loved Sense & Sensibility, and Elinor has always been one of my favorite Austen characters. But am I like her? I do have a knack for getting things done without much fuss, I'm practical, and I'm often the voice of reason in my family. But I have to admit it's not often that I allow my head to rule. Usually it's my mouth. Yes, Elinor Dashwood is much better at keeping her opinions to herself than I am.

Anyway, I thought you'd enjoy finding out which Austen character you more closely resemble. Thank you, Sarah!

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